Out for Delivery
by Bone Structure
Summary: Maura Isles is a student with a budding online shopping addiction. Jane Rizzoli is a hopeful cop working as a delivery woman. What happens when Maura decides that what she wants doesn't come in package? A RomCom!
1. Chapter 1

This idea came to me while writing _All that Matters_ and now I can't let it go. Comedy is probably my favorite genre yet I've never written it. I finally feel like I've got a good idea so now I'm going for it. This chapter is a little on the short side, mostly I want to gauge interest. If you like this concept, please tell me. And if you have any suggestion for what you'd like to see, tell me those too! This story doesn't have a set path yet so I'm open to ideas.

Obvious disclaimer, I don't own or am involved with any of the companies I mention below! It's all in good fun.

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**Out for Delivery**

Chapter 1

by Bone Structure

If you were looking for Maura Isles, you could usually find her buried in a textbook. It wasn't often that she wasn't reading, outlining, or highlighting. She was that kid in class you secretly hated because she was so damn perfect. She was the kid who didn't panic before exams and always ruined the curve. How did she have so much focus? Watching Maura Isles learn was like watching a Hawk chase a mouse. She was 100% concentration. If she decided she wanted something, she was going to get it.

But right now, Maura Isles wasn't studying. Instead, her eyes glossed over the web page open on her computer screen. She currently had five tabs open: one for her Gmail account, another for the Boston Cambridge University homepage, and three for Amazon.

It wasn't that Maura was particularly in need of anything. Maura was well off and in terms of material possessions, she already owned a bit more than she could handle. Regardless, somehow she kept finding herself clicking through pages on Amazon, as the suggested items on the side of each page took her further and further into the depths of the Amazon warehouse. Every day she was more and more amazed at how varied their stock was.

Online shopping was a welcome distraction from her studies. While most kids were nursing their hangovers, Maura had just spent a solid six hours of her early Saturday morning in the library, hunched over her anatomy textbook, occasionally highlighting and making flash cards to test herself with later. She left the library sometime after 7pm, cursing at the sky because the sun had already gone down. This was a regular occurrence in her life. She had spent yet another day wasting away in the library without any sunlight.

The bright background light of her laptop was no replacement for the sun, but it certainly did make Maura happy. It all started two month ago when Maura realized she needed new yoga pants. Her favorite pair had embarrassingly ripped in the middle of class, right at the crotch no less, during Warrior pose. Mortified, Maura went home that day determined to buy another pair of the same kind. She had several other pairs from different companies but none of them made her ass look as good. So she resolved to buy them again before the company stopped producing them. She bought five (in different patterns and colors of course).

After the yoga pants, it was new charger for her phone. Then shampoo, batteries, tampons... Maura knew she could have just walked a couple blocks to the store to get those things, but that wasn't as satisfying. She comforted herself with the reasoning that they were all cheaper on Amazon anyway.

It was innocent enough at first, it was all stuff she genuinely needed. But it didn't take long for that to change. She had Amazon Prime and it was easy to fall in love with the joys of two-day shipping. Practically anything she wanted she could have in just a couple of clicks and 48 hours. Surfs boards, jackets, a new water bowl for her pet tortoise. So what if it was the middle of winter and she hadn't gone surfing in years? She would use it this summer, she promised.

Everything and anything she wanted, she could have it sitting on her doorstep.

Maura opened up a new tab and made her way to the UPS website. She pasted her tracking number, which she had just copied from her email, into the little box on the side. "Out for delivery" were the words that made Maura grin. Her package had left the UPS center several hours ago. She expected it should arrive soon.

As if Maura's life had transformed into a bad romantic comedy, suddenly the door bell rang. Maura practically ran from the couch to the door, not giving the UPS man a chance the ring the bell a second time.

But it wasn't a UPS man at the door.

"Hey, I need your signature right here."

Maura looked up at the UPS woman who was unceremoniously passing over her electronic tracker and stylus.

"I've never had a woman deliver my packages before," said Maura bluntly as she took the device from the delivery woman's hand. "It's a very male dominate profession."

"They don't usually hire girls to do the routes," the delivery girl shrugged. Her voice was rough and rather deep, which surprised Maura. She was tempted to ask if the woman was sick or if she was a regular smoker. Remembering how poorly it went the last time she tried to diagnose someone in a social setting (apparently it was rude to tell someone they might have a rare, undiagnosed genetic disorder!), she opted not to.

Finishing her signature, Maura passed back the tracker, looking up at the delivery girl to make eye contact. It was then that she got a really good look at the woman.

She was undeniably, unquestionably hot as fuck.

Maura didn't know why the attraction was so immediate but the woman in the tan UPS jacket was one fine human specimen. Maybe it was the way the woman's curly hair was wildly falling out from under her UPS cap and framing her face, or the way the UPS colors highlighted her olive skin, but damn, she was gorgeous.

"Here you go." The delivery girl passed the box, that she had tucked between her legs, over to Maura.

While Maura was distracted thinking about much she wanted to be between the other woman's legs, the UPS worker managed to walk all the way back to her truck, which was (illegally) parked in front of Maura's house.

"Thank you!" Maura managed to shout when the girl was just about to open the door to her truck. The girl looked back. She gave Maura a quick wave as she stepped up into the vehicle.

It was then that Maura Isles realize how right was before. She rushed over to the couch to start up a new Amazon order. She really could have anything she wanted at her doorstep.


	2. Chapter 2

First, thank you all for your reviews! I read all of them and they keep my heart warm. Second, here it is finally, the second chapter. Took me a while to find my footing with this story, but I think I've got it. As always, please review if you enjoy and even if you don't enjoy. Any ideas / suggestions you have, I'm totally open to. **  
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**Out for Delivery**

chapter 2

By Bone Structure

It had been three weeks since Maura had first seen the UPS girl. She maintained her regular pace of ordering once or twice a week. Every time the girl came by, Maura was determined to talk to her.

* * *

"Hello," Maura answered the door with a smile.

"Hey," the UPS girl didn't even make eye contact as she handed over the package.

As soon as she came, she was gone.

* * *

This time Maura wore her tight yoga pants and an even tighter tank top - a combo that usually got her plenty of attention.

"Hi."

Maura noticed the UPS girl wasn't wearing her regular hat. Her dark, curly mane flowed freely. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to reach out and run her fingers through the curls. In fact, she even started to extend her arm, her hand headed straight toward the girl's head...

"Sign here." Maura quickly snapped out from the spell she was under and redirected her hand. She grabbed the stylus and signed, praying that the UPS girl didn't realize what had just happened.

* * *

Maura believed the appropriate phrase for what she was doing was "pulling out the big guns." Though she definitely wasn't putting any guns on display. Instead, she wore her lowest cut top. When Maura combined this top with her push up bra, she swore she breasts looked as if they were going to pop out at any moment. For that reason, she didn't wear this combo often. Once, she made the mistake of wearing it to the grocery store and the - unattractive and probably underage - cashier spent nearly ten minutes trying to get her number.

Maura felt confident and sexy. Today was definitely the day she would say more than two words to the UPS girl.

"Hello," Maura said as she opened the door, her voice becoming sultry.

"Hi, sign..." The UPS girl's voice trailed off as her eyes slowly moved down Maura's body.

The UPS girl's face was flushed. Maura's heart pounded as she noticed that her outfit was giving off its desired effect. The girl's eyes were fully locked onto Maura's cleavage. Maura reached over to grab the stylus from the girl's hand, making sure to lean forward a bit more than necessary. The girl's eyes followed Maura's breasts as if they were missiles locked onto a target.

Maura smiled widely as she signed and then passed over the stylus.

"It's a lovely day outside," said Maura, looking at the delivery girl's face, trying to get her to make eye contact.

"It is." Maura could see the girl swallowing, her throat moving as she shifted over her gaze from Maura's breasts to her eyes. Her face was still red.

* * *

Since then Maura noticed that the delivery girl had begun to rush every time she came. If she had to sign, the girl would already have her hands extended out with the stylus and tracking pad ready for Maura to take them. If she didn't have to sign, Maura swore the girl practically threw the package at her and ran off.

Maura tried not to think of the delivery girl as she watched Susie Chang flip through the pages of her textbook. It was Thursday night and Susie often liked to come over then and study with her for a couple of hours. Usually Maura enjoyed their study dates but today she was distracted... When was her delivery coming in?

"What are you looking for?" Maura asked, trying to get back into the swing of studying as she grabbed a grape from a little of bowl of fruits she had set out earlier.

"Something I read last night..." Susie flipped the page once more and a satisfied smile appeared on her face. "Here is it." She picked up a pen and quickly started jotting down notes from the highlighted portion of her book.

Normally, Maura would ask more about what Susie was writing but instead she simply popped a grape into her mouth and went back to reading her own book. Or trying to anyway.

Maura wondered if Susie could tell she wasn't really reading too intently, not with her usual intensity anyway. She could focus for a couple of sentences but then her mind would trail off, reading each word by itself and ultimately loosing the meaning of the paragraph. She sighed as she realized she was going to have to read this all again later that night. She would have preferred not to but she just couldn't focus.

Her latest package had left the shipping center hours ago. Careful observation allowed Maura to deduce that her package was most likely to arrive between 5pm and 6pm - the actual average was 5:32pm with a standard deviation of about 8 minutes. Maura had a secrete Excel document on her computer that calculated all of this information for her.

Maura tried to decide exactly how creepy her behavior was. How many other people were obsessively keeping track of their package arrival time? She was definitely straddling the line between acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But all Maura wanted to be straddling was her delivery girl.

Some time passed as Maura pull out a highlighter of her own, doing her best to focus on the text in front of her and not the UPS truck that was hopefully making its way down the street. Thankfully, she didn't have to suffer for long.

The doorbell rang and Maura practically sprinted up to the door - which made Susie raise her eyebrows in confusion. Susie was about to let it go and return to her reading when she saw Maura trying to smooth out the creases in her dress... What kind of company did Maura have coming over?

"Hi," Maura said when she finally opened the door.

"Hi," the delivery girl replied as usual, passing over the package in her hands.

Maura knew that if she took the package, the girl would simply turn around and walk away without another word.

"Do I have to sign?" Maura asked, deliberately not taking the package and looking for an excuse to keep the girl around a bit longer.

"Not today, Maura." The delivery girl smiled nervously. Two things immediately struck Maura.

One: The delivery girl had dimples. Freaking dimples. Oh god, not only was she gorgeous but she had _dimples_. How had she not noticed before? Maura wanted to simultaneously melt and also explode.

Two: Maura had never given the girl her name before.

"How do you know my name?" Maura asked, half in awe of the girl's dimples and half in... actually she just all in awe.

"It's on all your packages," the girl shrugged, "And you get _a lot_ of packages."

"Yes, I do... " Maura decided not to mention that she hadn't even opened her last couple of packages. They were sitting in a pile in her closet and the one she was currently holding would probably join the others soon.

"I don't mean to be rude but..." the delivery girl paused. She took a moment to make direct eye contact with Maura - which made Maura's legs feel like she had just run six marathons through mud while carrying a 100 lbs sack of potatoes on her back. Maura was so busy trying to steady herself that she missed what the other girl said.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

"Um, I asked if you have a problem?" The delivery girl's smile was long gone and now replaced by a pained expression.

"A problem?" Maura was tempted to say that her only problem was her inability to get this girl in bed with her.

"I saw a documentary on TLC about people who are addicted to shopping. I thought maybe..."

Maura was floored. Now she was the one who felt a blush creep up on her face. Maura knew a sudden death was unlikely for her, she was young and healthy after all, but she still wished for one. She made a mental note to look up the statistics for being struck by lightning (when there wasn't even a storm) or spontaneously being dragged into the ground via sinkhole.

"I am not addicted to online shopping." Maura managed to say, trying her best to keep her tone neutral. She must have failed at doing so because the delivery girl's face became guilt ridden.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"My mom and I share an Amazon account," Maura suddenly blurted out to save face.

If Maura had been anyone else, this wouldn't have been a problem. She would have been able to say this and move on with her day. Unfortunately, she wasn't anyone else. She was Maura Isles and Maura Isles couldn't lie.

The second the words escaped Maura's lips she felt her chest start to get hot. The rash must already been visible because Maura heard the girl ask if she was alright. But by the time Maura heard and processed what the girl was saying it was already too late to respond.

She had already passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

I adore all of your reviews. Thank you all so much.

It's taken me a while to write this chapter and I'm still not satisfied with it. Characterization is extremely difficult when the two characters aren't supposed to know each other yet... And also with comedy in general. I may come back and have to edit this later.

Anyway, here is the next chapter! Please review with any criticism/praise. I'm very open to criticism. In fact, I may be looking for a beta... if anyone is interested, don't hesitate to say so!

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**Out for Delivery**

Chapter 3

by Bone Structure

Susie came running when she heard a loud thud.

"What did you do?!"

Maura was out cold on the floor. The delivery girl was already kneeled down next to her. If Susie had taken the time to look into her eyes, she would have seen that she was fraught with fear.

"Me?!" The delivery girl threw her hands up in the air, as if she was surrendering. "I didn't do anything! She just passed out!"

Susie got down on her knees, joining the UPS girl on the ground. She immediately took Maura's head in her hands, using her left hand to support her skull and her right to feel for the pulse point on Maura's neck.

"I swear to god if you killed her... "

"I didn't even touch her!"

"Well, you're in luck. I feel a pulse."

The delivery girl let out a sigh of relief. Working this crappy delivery route was already making her life hell. She definitely didn't need to be accused of murder on top of that. She could already see the headlines: _UPS Delivers Death. _She would never live it down.

"Come on Maura," said the delivery girl looking down at Maura's expressionless face. "Wake up. I see your chest moving, so I know you're breathing. Just wake up."

"Since when are you two on a first name basis?" Susie asked, looking up into the other girl's face.

"I delivery so many of her packages. She is a fucking legend at our store." The delivery girl motioned at Maura with her hands. "Everybody knows her."

"What do you mean? What is she a legend for?"

"I mean this girl alone could practically fund us. I used to load the trucks and she would always order the biggest freaking packages. Some days I would fantasize about punching her in the face and I didn't even know her. She used to order like three times a week."

Up until now, Susie had never heard anything about Maura's obsessive online shopping. Maura didn't talk much about money or material possessions and Susie has always just assumed it because Maura was humble. Now she realized the girl had a secret shopping problem all along... That's why she was so hushed.

"If she doesn't wake up soon we're going to have to call 911," Susie redirected her focus onto the unconscious Maura on the ground. If she survived, they would have to tackle her shopping addiction later. Still supporting Maura's head, she gently tapped Maura's check with her fingertips, hoping the girl would react. Nothing at all.

Susie and the delivery girl looked up at each other for a moment, each wondering if now was the time to call for an ambulance. The delivery girl, praying that Maura wasn't in mortal danger (and also not yet wanting to bring authorities into this), motioned for Susie to move away from Maura. Susie did and Jane inched in closer to Maura, leaning over the girl and put her hands to Maura's face.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up... please?" The girl said as she lightly shook Maura. This always worked in the movies, right? "Look if you die, everyone's going to blame me." Jane let go of Maura's head, starting to feel panic at her lack of reaction. Instinctively, she swung her leg over Maura so that she was straddling her, not taking the time to think about how awkward the position would be if the girl woke up. She quickly grabbed at Maura's collar, pulling her chest up and off the ground. "I don't need to be accused of murder. I'm still at police academy!"

"You're a cop?"

"You think I want to shuffle around packages for rich girls for the rest of my life?" The delivery girl's head turned to face Susie, still holding Maura up. She rolled her eyes, making Susie scoff.

The voice that came next was quiet, mumbled, and heavy with confusion.

"... Rich girls?"

Maura!

"You're alive!" The delivery girl's instinct was to throw her arms around Maura, squeezing tightly and practically squeezing the air out of her lungs. She had never been so glad to not be a murderer.

While the UPS girl was busy basking in the relief that Maura was alive, Maura was experiencing a whole different feeling. She had woken up straddled by the delivery girl, their thighs in close contact, and now she was being hugged so that her head lay right between the girl's breasts. Maura had to wonder if she was dead. Maybe she passed out, died, and was transferred straight to heaven. Maura had no complaints about the afterlife.

"Don't squeeze her so hard!" Susie interrupted, prompting the delivery girl to let go of Maura and effectively unburying Maura's face from her chest. Suddenly. Maura had never wanted to punch anyone as hard she wanted to punch Susie.

"I'm fine," said Maura with a shy smile, not looking at Susie but at the delivery girl instead.

The delivery girl misinterpreted Maura's look. Now that she was no longer hugging her, it felt painfully obvious and awkward that she was still straddling Maura. Quickly she stood up, clearing her throat as she did, momentarily putting Maura on the floor between her legs, and then took a few steps away.

"Sorry about that... Well, if you're okay, I should get back to work."

Maura, having finally gotten the hot delivery girl inside her home, was not ready to let her go so quickly. After doing some research, Maura had discovered that her very predicament was often the subject of many pornographic films. They made it look so easy.

"Maybe you could stay and have some coffee? As a thank you from me?" Maura asked as she stood back up. This was her chance to finally talk to her.

"I feel like I almost killed you and now you want to have coffee with me?"

"You didn't almost kill me, my syncope was very much my fault."

"Syncope?"

"Passing out," Maura simplified, "It was my fault. It's somewhat normal for me."

"Do you just pass out all the time?"

"I tend to pass out when I lie," Maura said, her face beginning to blush. She didn't want to admit that she had lied but she knew that she needed to be honest. She needed to convince her that she was okay - and also to get passed her embarrassing fainting spell as quickly as possible.

"So you mean you and your mom _don't _share an Amazon account?" The delivery girl said with a smirk on her face as she ran her hand through her own hair, pushing it back.

Susie had just recently made Maura watch a movie called _Mean Girls_. If Maura had felt it was appropriate, she would have told the delivery girl that she looked sexy with her hair pushed back. Unfortunately, it wasn't appropriate to do so. However, looking at the delivery girl with her wild hair pulled back, exposing all of her face, reignited Maura's vigor to accomplish her original goal. She wanted to date this godly creature. Quickly, she took a deep breath, settling her nerves.

"No, we do not share an account." Maura managed to put on an air of confidence. "Now come have some coffee."

"You're used to getting what you want, aren't you?" The delivery girl asked, her energy also becoming more confident and somewhat challenging.

"I always go after what I want. I usually get it."

As they continued to exchange banter, the energy between them began to change. They each grew more comfortable at what seemed to be an exponential rate. Somehow, Maura and the delivery girl had forgotten that Susie was standing right next to them. So she simply watched as their banter starting turning into something more... Was Maura flirting?

"Trust me, I would much rather be having coffee and relaxing than going on my shitty delivery route."

"Let me make you a cup to-go at least."

"You're not giving up, are you?"

"No," Maura smiled, her confidence practically illuminated her features. "Now, follow me."

The delivery girl followed Maura with no protest and Susie found herself standing alone in the living room. Not knowing what else to do, and already feeling like a third wheel, she secretly she followed them. Silently, she watched through the doorway of the kitchen as their exchange continued.

"What on earth is that?" the delivery girl asked as she watched Maura pour in coffee beans into a complicated looking machine.

"It's my coffee maker," replied Maura, "I hope that's obvious by the fact that I just put coffee beans into it."

"That thing has more buttons than a pilot's cockpit." The UPS girl walked over and started pushing random buttons on the machine. Maura slapped her hand away.

"Don't do that. I have it preset just how I like it."

Jokingly, the delivery girl pretended to nurse her hand. Understanding that it was just a joke, Maura rolled her eyes.

"What if I like my coffee different than yours?"

If it was anyone else, Maura would have found them insufferable. Maybe it was because she was already so attracted to the girl, but she found herself playing along, matching the girl's challenging attitude with her own.

"Then you'll just have to suffer."

Maura opened up her cabinets, looking for the styrofoam to go cups she knew she had somewhere. Quickly she spotted them up on the top shelf and got on her tip toes to reach them. Just as her fingertips touched them, she accidently pushed the stack of cups back and further into the shelf.

Watching Maura struggle bought a small smile to her lips as the delivery girl walked over. Not wanting to miss the chance to one-up her, she stood behind Maura, extending her arm above Maura's head and easily reaching for the cups that were out of Maura's reach.

Maura felt that the delivery girl was trying to show off but couldn't bring herself to care. For the second time that day she felt the girl's body up against her and made her body feel... for a lack of a better word, tingly!

While the delivery girl was still directly behind her, Maura turned around to face her. Now it was obvious how close they were - at most two inches apart. Standing this close, Maura's heart started to pound. She let herself think of how much she wanted to press her lips on the crook of the girl's neck and it took every ounce of Maura's self control not to do so.

"Hi Maura," said the delivery girl, noticing that Maura's face had become red. Was she nervous? The delivery girl enjoyed the sudden power of making her nervous. It was the ultimate one-up.

"Hi..."

"Jane," responded the delivery girl, realizing that Maura was waiting for her name.

"Hi Jane." Maura felt the name fall out of her mouth with ease.

Maura and Jane stood silent for a minute, still standing close but with nothing to say. Maura opened her mouth, hoping words would come to her, but was quickly released of any pressure when she heard her coffee maker began to beep.

"Coffee's done?" Jane asked.

"Yes, let me pour you a cup."

They moved away from each other as Maura walked over to the coffee machine, taking a styrofoam cup with her and placing it under the spout. Immediately, hot coffee poured out and Maura put a plastic cap on the cup when it was done pouring.

Jane reached over to grab the cup, intentionally brushing her fingers against Maura's as she did.

"I'll get going now. Maybe I'll see you soon." Jane's voice was dripping with sarcasm, knowing that Maura would order something online and that she would have to deliver it.

"Yea, maybe." Maura smiled.

Jane left the kitchen and walked out the door, leaving Maura alone by the kitchen counter. When Susie heard the front door close she quickly sprinted into the kitchen, looking at Maura with shock in her eyes before she shouted:

"What the hell was that?!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hi everyone! It's just been midterm season for me so I've been focusing all my energy on school. When school is draining me it's hard to feel creative. Thanks for sticking with this story. I have spring break soon and I hope I'll be able to crank out a lot of this story then.

As always, I love all of your reviews. They are the fuel to my fire, the wind beneath my wings, etc. All that cheesy stuff. You guys are really the greatest. As always, I'm open to criticism, praise, ideas, whatever you want. Just review and let me know.

Now, on to the story!

* * *

**Out for Delivery**

Chapter 4

by Bone Structure

Maura didn't really understand why Susie was so distraught - or why she felt the need to ask so many unnecessary questions about her interaction with Jane.

"Were you two... were you flirting?" Susie asked once she had calmed down a bit.

"I don't think I have to answer that," Maura said in her neutral matter-of-fact tone. It was the kind of tone a doctor would use when giving a diagnosis. "Let's get back to studying." She tried to turn away and walk back but she felt Susie grab her wrist.

"Oh no, I want some answers here. You looked like you were about to swallow that girl whole."

"That's not physically possible." Maybe Maura could weasel her way out of this.

"Maura, don't play that game with me." Whoops, probably not. "You know what I'm talking about."

What peaked Susie's interest in the situation was that Maura wasn't usually private about this kind of thing. Maura was never embarrassed to tell Susie about her sexual partners or romantic interests. If anything, Maura was a bit of an oversharer. Susie knew more details about Maura's sex life than she really needed or wanted. So why didn't she know about the UPS girl until now?

"If you have to know, I was flirting with her. I can't confirm for her if she was flirting with me as well."

"Oh please, she was obviously flirting with you. How long has this been going on?"

"We've barely spoken until today."

"Woman, do you think I was born yesterday - and don't answer that literally! I thought you two were about to rip off each other's clothes while I was still in the room."

Maura decided to ignore pretty much everything Susie said and focus on the important things.

"You think she felt that way too?"

The truth was that Maura had been feeling like she was making a bit of a fool of herself with Jane. Whenever the delivery girl came, Maura was ready was a nice (tight) outfit and a smile but she could barely get the other girl to even look her for more than a couple of seconds until today. Maura had never had this much trouble getting someone's attention before. Just as she had told Jane, she usually got whatever (or whomever) she went after.

"I've been trying to get her attention for a while now," Maura confessed.

"A while? How long a while?"

"About a month now."

"What have you been doing to get her attention?"

Maura, previously having no one else to talk to about her crush on the delivery girl, began to ramble on and on about their encounters. She began to recount every detail about how she started wearing different outfits and how she always made sure to be home on time for her packages - though she left out the bit about how she was keeping track of all her delivery times in Excel. Even Maura, who had little social boundaries, knew that was odd.

"Man, you got it baaaaad," said Susie once Maura had finished. The two had moved into the kitchen where Susie had begun looking at take-out menus.

"Huh? I have what?" Maura took a menu from Susie's hand. "You want Thai food?"

"It means you like her, a lot." For a genius, Maura could sure be ignorant. All those years Maura spent with her nose inside textbooks, did she never manage to watch a single hour of TV? Or listen to a pop song? Her lack of knowledge regarding idioms was astounding. "And yea, I'm craving Thai. What do you want?"

"Why don't people just say what they mean?" Maura asked as she opened up the printed menu and started scanning the columns.

"That's a great question. You might want to ask yourself the same thing."

"Susie, are you trying to imply something?"

"I'm just saying that sometimes when you say 'Would you like some coffee?' it's obvious that you really mean, 'Would you like to tear off my clothes right now?' And by sometimes I mean, just now."

Maura simply shrugged. It wasn't like Susie was wrong, so she didn't bother correcting her.

"Just order me a Pad Thai with tofu," Maura said as she put down the menu.

"I think you need a plan." Susie pulled her phone out of her back pocket and brought up an app to order the take-out online. "You need to find a reason to spend more time with her."

"Do you have any suggestions?"

"Open the door naked?"

Maura paused for a moment, tilting her head and glancing up at the ceiling.

"Are you seriously considering that?"

Maura, not wanting to confess that she was thinking about one of the pornographic videos she had seen that started with just the premise Susie was suggesting, cleared her throat and quickly refocused her gaze onto Susie.

"Maura, this girl is attracted to you. I could see it. You can be really dense sometimes."

"The average human density is about 980 kilograms per cubic meter, which is not that dense when you consider the density of other solids that we encounter a daily basis. I'm not dense."

Susie rolled her eyes.

* * *

Maura had spent several days considering what Susie had told her. Susie was right, she knew that much. If she didn't come up with some kind of excuse to keep talking to Jane, to keep her lingering around a little while longer, she would never make progress on what she liked to call _Operation Open Jane's Package._

Laughing lightly at her own joke as she entered her house, Maura walked into her living room and put her bag down. It was Friday afternoon, 3:12pm to be exact, and she had just finished a long round of midterms. There were no exams for another couple weeks and she was glad for it. She decided that had earned some time to relax. After thinking for a moment about what she wanted to do, she decided on watching TV. She couldn't remember the last time she even turned it on.

While she was flicking through the channels, Maura heard her doorbell. Surprised, because she wasn't expecting any visitors or any packages, she still got up to see who it was, leaving the TV on in the background.

Maura was flustered when she opened the door and saw Jane there. It was still a couple hours early for a package. This was going to wildly through her average delivery time.

"Hi, could you sign this?" Jane smiled widely as she gave Maura the little tracker to sign.

Jane seemed to have an extra twinkle in her eye and her smile was bigger than it had ever been before. These things made Maura's heart begin to beat quickly. She knew that she should say something, something to help cement the fact that they were slightly more than acquaintances now, but she didn't know what.

"Of course I'll sign," said Maura, regaining her composure. She began to write but just as she was getting to her last name, the stylus slipped out of her shaky hand and onto the ground.

As Maura quickly bent down to pick up the stylus, Jane's eyes focused on what was behind Maura. The TV in the living room was on and she could make out the familiar uniform of her favorite team.

"Are you watching the game?" Jane said instinctively, with a bit of surprise in her voice. She didn't think Maura was the kind of girl to like baseball.

"What?" Maura sprang up and followed Jane's gaze, her eyes landing back on the TV. "Oh, baseball. I guess I was." It technically wasn't a lie. She did catch a few seconds of the game while she standing up to get the door.

"Man, I wish I still had cable so I could watch." Jane's eyes were focused intently on the TV.

If she were a cartoon, a little light bulb would have lit above Maura's head. This was it. This was finally the idea she had been waiting for.

"You could watch here!" Maura couldn't help how excited she sounded.

"Really?" Jane's eyes finally shifted from the TV onto Maura's face. "You want to watch baseball together?"

"Yes, I mean, I've never watched a game with anyone before." (Of course she meant that she never watched a game, ever).

"How many inches is that TV?"

"Fifty-five."

"Shit, that's huge. I have a dingle little 19 inch."

"So, you'll come over?" Maura was trying her best to be suggestive and not pushy when all she really wanted was to be as pushy as possible. She wanted to push Jane up against a wall, she wanted to push Jane down against her bed, she even wanted to push Jane up onto her kitchen counters... Yes, she wanted a lot of pushing.

"If you're watching the game on Sunday, I can come over then," Jane fiddled with the UPS cap on her head, which Maura believed was a sign of nervousness. "If it's not too imposing."

"Yes, I'll be watching the game! It's not imposing at all."

"I'll see you on Sunday then." The dark hair girl smiled widely again, making the pit of butterflies in Maura's stomach go crazy.

"I'll see you on Sunday," Maura repeated, putting forth her best confident smile, hoping that Jane couldn't see how nervous she actually was.

Maura took the package out of Jane's hand and watched as at the other girl walked back down the street and into her truck. As soon as the truck had driven off into the distance Maura suddenly remembered that she knew nothing about baseball. _Fuck_.


End file.
